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Gifts of Gratitude

9/28/2022

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In the midst of our busy lives, we can miss moments of God's goodness in our lives.
I can sometimes focus on checking off my task list boxes and forget to reflect on the good God gives in the midst of it all.
Besides missing the reflecting piece, we can overcommit.
We make commitments to ourselves, others and God yet in our zealousness to commit, we don't quite fulfill those obligations and we find ourselves overwhelmed and maybe a bit troubled. 
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Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High, call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me. Psalm 50:14-15 (NIV)

​Today, if you feel overwhelmed by obligations and commitments. I encourage you to follow just 3 short steps:
  1. Pause for a 10-second-deep breath. Breathe in and out slowly.
  2. Close your eyes.
  3. Offer up a thank offering to God: reflect on ONE gift God has given you today
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Just stopping for a moment can redirect our thoughts and help us focus on the goodness of God.
His goodness is there. We just need to slow ourselves down enough to take notice and give thanks.
When we do, it's amazing how God meets us in those moments.
It's a simple act. Yet that's often how He works. We overcomplicate, and He simplifies.
Today, let's lean into Him, look for gratitude gifts, and move forward in grace.

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:
  • Why do I feel overwhelmed?
  • Where do I see God working?
  • What are 3 gifts I can acknowledge and be thankful for today?
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Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your steps ~ Proverbs 16:3 (NIV)

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God's Miraculous Gravy

9/20/2022

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In our Life-Sharing Moment Rev. Camille Regholec shares with us her story of God's grace and His sweet gift of gravy in her life.  Thank you, Camille, for sharing this moment with us. 

As I watched the ambulance pull away with my husband on board I whispered, "Dear Lord, I know You can take Jerry at any time on any day. But I ask You to let him live. Even just one day would be gravy."  That was March of 2011. God gave us eleven years. 
Jerry was 6’4”, 260 pounds and unable to use his legs. His body was stiff and crippled from severe arthritis. Even though those extra eleven years were spent in a nursing home, Jerry was basically healthy. His medication was potassium and magnesium supplements and half a heart pill. Because of his inability to walk and turn while sitting or lying down, he needed continual care. Each time he became ill, he bounced back. We were thankful to God. 
​I visited daily. We shared meals that I prepared him along with our favorite snacks while watching movies. I picked up a per diem overnight job as a building safety monitor at his care facility and found a place to live just 9 miles away.
When the pandemic hit in 2020, I was not allowed to visit even though I worked at the facility. When he tested positive for Covid, I prayed he would be okay with no side effects. God granted that request. We talked
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​through zoom and phone until Covid restrictions were lifted. After thirteen months, it was wonderful to be together again.
Jerry's helplessness in moving on his own brought other health issues. Nothing anyone did could halt the onslaught. From December 2021 until March 2022, Jerry kept returning to the hospital as his health declined. Each stay was longer – the bouncing back was harder to attain. My job required the Covid vaccine and because of the vaccine I was able to visit Jerry daily in the hospital. We thanked God.
While at work on March 24, I received the phone call along with the message I hoped never to hear.
This time, there was no coming back.
"Ma’am, your husband is fading fast. Can you get here?"
"It will take me 45 minutes, but I'll be there." I grabbed my bag and ran out the door. 
"Do you want us to try CPR if he goes?"
"YES!" I shouted as I hung up the phone. My coworker gave me a swift hug. I jumped into my car and tore out of the parking lot.
As I raced toward the hospital, breaking all speed limits, and passing three police cars, I cried and prayed, "Please God. PLEASE!"
Just then a song playing on my car radio broke into my consciousness. A soft, soulful voice sang, “I have to leave now for a little while - but goodbye is not the end."
"No! No! Please Lord!” I shouted as I rammed my foot down on the gas pedal. “Please keep Jerry alive until I get there! Let me tell him ‘I love you’ one more time!" I glanced at the clock on the dashboard -- 12:26pm. 
When I rushed into his room, the doctor and nurse were there. They had performed CPR. The doctor took me aside. “We brought him back, but he probably won’t last long.  If Jerry’s heart stops again, would you like us to repeat CPR?”
God, in His mercy, had granted my request to keep Jerry alive until I arrived. I knew in my heart Jerry’s battle was ending. With a choked voice, I answered, ‘No… thank you… but no. If God wants him, nothing you or I do will keep my husband here."
I went to Jerry’s side, kissed him, and spoke, “I love you." I watched him mouth the words, "I love you, too." As I touched his face and rested my hand on his chest, a tear fell from his eye. I whispered, “You’re alright. God’s got you. And I will be alright cause God's got me, too.” I repeated the words from the song I had just heard on the radio. "Goodbye is not the end. Now go dance with our children.” Then he took his final breath.
I watched as the numbers on the monitors dropped until there were none. The nurse offered me a chair and I sat by his bed. Even though he had already left, I was unable to leave him.  Another nurse came in, put a stethoscope to Jerry’s chest, "I'm sorry, he is gone." 
Choked by my tears I whispered, “I know.”
She then added these astounding words, “I'm here to tell you we started CPR at 12:26 pm."
That was the same moment those words had come across my radio. I knew instantly God had answered my frantic plea. God had giving us 30 years of marriage - the last 11 were pure gravy, --- God's Miraculous Gravy.

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Rev. Camille Regholec pastors The Nations of the World Church in Monticello, NY. She is an author & contributor to Chicken Soup for the Soul and various Christian Magazines. Thank you for sharing your Life Sharing Moment with us, Camille. 
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Journey Preparation

9/6/2022

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We don’t like to talk money, especially with others.  We view it as a private matter and like to keep it that way.
Yet the mindset of keeping money matters private is not the same as being prepared.
Individuals may say, “I’m not worried about money. God takes care of us. He always has.”  It is true God cares for us, yet God also advocates: Prepare, Work, and Plan. Proverbs 27:23 (NIV) tells us: “Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds; for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations.”
We have all seen an unexpected loss throw future plans haywire. Those future days when we were going to plan things is now on us and we’re at a loss. Not only the loss of employment, spouse, or housing but now we’re losing emotionally, physically and financially.


​Cheryl and David Auterson ministered for many years in our NY Network. I asked Cheryl and Dave to share with us some beginning thoughts and questions we should consider about financial planning for our families and future.  I hope these ideas spur you on to have good conversations with your spouse and families about the future, along with the opportunity to solidify plans for your todays and tomorrows.
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         Dave and I have been in some form of public ministry for 43 years. The last ten of those, we’ve been privileged to serve pastors and congregations in financial services. We both feel it is one of the most amazing ministries we've ever done because the need is so great, and the help is real.

The following stories are true, and they are common. They are pulled from the work Dave has done at many “kitchen tables” and various conversations.  In life, we can learn from the experiences of others, or we can learn in the same experiences as others.  The former is preferable. 

~~~I met Pastor Shadrach, age 72, after finishing a meeting. During a 10-minute conversation, I spotted a simple financial mistake he was making.  This mistake put an unexpected $14,000 in his pocket shortly after. This change saved him thousands of dollars every year after that. Later, we did more planning & put a plan in place.  He would later tell people that working together saved his life.  Today, he & his wife are fully retired & doing well.

~~~ For weeks, Pastor Meshach & I worked to answer the question: What does retirement look like for me?  As with Shadrach, the same rigors of analysis were used in our planning. Later, I met with him & his wife - it was uncomfortable. You see, Meshach was in his mid 60s & had only saved about $60,000 for his retirement. He had a serious health condition, & he lived in a home provided by his employer.  In our meeting, his wife became quiet & very concerned. We worked together, yet it was late in the game for him.  My counsel was “Perhaps, now that we have a clearer picture. Different & better choices can be made going forward.”

~~~ Pastor Abednego & his wife were good friends of ours for many years. He invited me into the advice process with him to gain understanding & prepare for future retirement. I did the same goal setting work, completed the analysis, & came back to meet with him & his wife. I still vividly recall the sense of excitement & anticipation as we sat down to go over my report. As he & his wife thumbed through the pages he stopped, looked up, & asked, “Is there still time to change this?”  I said “Pastor, that is exactly the right question.  That's why I'm here, & yes, there is time.”
 

As you ponder these stories, we want to pose 3 simple clarifying questions that can be helpful to you:
1. Are you anxious about money?
Money can be a stronghold in people's lives. Strongholds are generally fed by 2 things: fear & secrecy.  Maybe a better way to think about your feelings toward money is this: Are there places of distress? 
  • Am I going to outlive my money and resources?
  • Is this an area of secrecy for me, something I won't talk about with anyone?
  • Would I be embarrassed to talk with others?
If these ring true for your feelings about money, pull this topic out into the full light of day. Connect with wise counsel & find the answers you need.
 
2. Do you feel in control of your money?
One way to identify control is to ask: Am I on track for my goals? 
This is perhaps the main area of deficiency we see with ministry professionals we talk with.  They have no clear goals against which savings and investment actions can be accurately measured.
 
Often, ministry leaders fall prey to a common temptation of – sacrificing future & financial wellbeing in the effort to serve others.  At the moment, it may seem right to place the needs of others ahead of your own, but this is not wisdom. 
A biblical requirement for public ministry is managing our household well.  Disciplined money management is one of the places where this is lived out.
 
3. Are you organized & ready for the “certainty of uncertainty?”
  • Think about plans you have for yourself, your family & even your church.
  • What things are you looking forward to next week, next month, or next year?
  • Now consider, what happens to those plans if you don't wake up tomorrow morning?
 The Bible is clear. We have responsibility to provide for our families. Preparing & planning for our future is perhaps the most important provision we can make. 
 
Additional questions to consider:
  • Are all my legal documents in place?
  • Is our will, durable power of attorney & living will current?
  • Are my beneficiary designations correct?
  • Would my surviving spouse know where vital information & documents are held?
 We cannot know when loss or tragedy might strike, yet we can mitigate against the risk & be prepared. 
 
There are many tools to help you evaluate your journey & achieve these goals! We hope this frames the issues and gives you some next steps for action.  For more personalized help, you can easily locate a nearby Thrivent Financial Advisor to assist you at https://local.thrivent.com/
 
Additional (free) resources:
Cash Flow/Debt/Money Management Skills
https://www.thrivent.com/generosity/money-canvas
Online Tools
https://www.thrivent.com/insights

OTHER RESOURCES FOR FINANCIAL HELP:
  • AGFinancial.org
  • Crown.org
  • RamseySolutions.com
  • Thrivent.org 
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An Unexpected Journey

7/26/2022

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Over 15% of children in the United States live with special needs. These amazing children are in our schools, families, neighborhoods, and churches. We can grow in our understanding about their unique needs and learn how to love them well. 
One of our very own ministry wives, Susie Melnick, has a wonderful daughter with special needs. Susie shares with us this week about how her and husband, Mike, have journeyed with their daughter and how the church can better serve those in similar situations. Thank you, Susie, for sharing with us. 

An Unexpected Journey ~ Raising a church and child with special needs.
Written by Susie Melnick

Brooklyn was 9 months old when we got the long-awaited call from the geneticist. I remember the day so clearly, because it was also my oldest daughter’s very first day of kindergarten. Life is like that, isn’t it? Layered with joy, wonder, new experiences, disappointment, and loss – all in one breath. On that day as we celebrated with our 5-year-old and her new accomplishments, we also mourned as we discovered our third and youngest little girl would be forever impacted by a disease that, up until that moment, we had never heard of.
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​Brooklyn has Phelan-McDermid Syndrome. This genetic disease is rare, has no cure, and no real treatment. It causes intellectual disability, the absence of functional language, seizures, sleep disorders, and many other challenges. That’s the black and white of it. But what you don’t read in this description, is anything about who Brooklyn is as a person, as a soul, as a creation of our incredibly loving God.
There is no doubt raising this amazing little girl has been a challenge and a blessing, as is raising ALL children – regardless of their abilities or disabilities.
HOW DO YOU COPE IN MINISTRY WHILE RAISING A CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS?
We don’t claim to be experts, but here are a few things my husband and I have learned over the past ten years.
  • SEE THE BEST IN THOSE WHO LOVE YOU
When Brooklyn was first diagnosed, it was a difficult season for both my husband and me. We questioned God, we grieved, and we did our best to navigate this new world of doctors, therapists, and testing. Looking back, I realize we weren’t the only ones having to navigate the unknown. Our church family didn’t know what to do or what to say to comfort us. They did their best, but we were often met with well-intentioned comments or prayers that were hurtful. We had to learn to see the best in others, and to extend grace, even when the people we loved did or said something that was unintentionally hurtful or misguided. Remember they are learning how to support you through your journey. 
  • TEACH YOUR CHURCH ABOUT YOUR CHILD

​We recently hosted an event in our church just for families that have a child with special needs. Our volunteers showed up in record numbers – they were excited to serve and ready to love on people. But I discovered many of them were also nervous. They were worried they would say or do the wrong thing, or not know how to talk to a child with a disability. I walked them through how to talk to a non-verbal child, I reminded them that for a child with sensory aversions, a high-five is a better option than a hug and that a smile goes a long way. It is OK for you to teach your church the best way to interact with your child. Most likely, they want to be a part of his/her life but need to know the best
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way to do that! Brooklyn is non-verbal, so we encourage lots of high fives. Sometimes she returns them and sometimes she doesn’t, but it gives our church a way to interact with her in a meaningful way.
  • BE CREATIVE
Your child might not fit the “Kids Church” model you have in place. Pray and ask God to give you creative solutions!
Over the years, Brooklyn has attended church:
  • in a medical stroller
  • in the preschool room even when she was the oldest child in the room
  • with the help of a special sensory room
  • with a one-on-one buddy
  • with a paid caregiver
  • and there are many weeks she hasn’t attended at all.
 As full-time pastors, one of our most difficult challenges has been learning how to pastor on a Sunday morning while caring for a child with special needs. There are some seasons where one solution worked for a while. And then it didn’t anymore, and we had to be flexible and change things up.
For us personally, in this season, Brooklyns’ needs are too challenging for a volunteer to handle. So, she either stays home with a paid caregiver, or comes to church with her caregiver. Brooklyn is 100% my ministry and my life during the week. For the few hours we are at church, these creative options allow us to focus on the task at hand. This might not be the case for you but be free to find creative solutions for the season you are in with your family and church. Remember your family is important, AND your church is important. I believe God will give you the wisdom to balance both, if that’s what you are called to!
  • STAY CONNECTED WITH OTHERS
It is likely there is no one in your church that knows what it is like to be in your shoes. Raising a child with special needs is truly a journey you must walk through to understand. Be intentional about finding someone else who understands. I have discovered some amazing online groups and have been able to connect with parents of children who attend the same school that Brooklyn attends. I also have great friends who are parents of typical kids who love Jesus and are there to listen and pray for me. You need both!
If you need a listening ear and don’t know who to turn to, I will return every text, phone call, or email I receive at susie@mohawkvalley.church, 765-430-6095. You are not alone! 

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Susie Melnick and husband, Mike, minister together in Marcy, NY at Mohawk Valley Church. Susie connects and encourages women through the ministry, The Pink Seat. You can find more info at The Pink Seat Private Group on Facebook. 
Thank you, Susie, for sharing this part of your journey with us.
 
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The Retirement Journey

7/12/2022

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Here in our summer Journey series, we have our colleague, ministry wife, Elsa Siriano sharing with us her journey from ministry days to retirement days.  Elsa is also the author of the book, The Other Side of the Pulpit. You can find it here or contact Elsa directly at naaanny90@aol.com ($15 + $3 shipping & handling)
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Conversations with a Colleague.... The Retirement Journey by Elsa Siriano

How do we retire from serving the Lord who has called us into ministry? 
After 45 years pastoring churches in New England and New York state, we shut the church door and drove away. 
 It is easy to feel forgotten when we retire.
 
The hard part is NOT being the pastor’s wife, not having the fellowship, not involved in the women’s ministries, the day-to-day operations of the church, or having friends in the church, OUR church.
 
We now attend Faith Church, in Rochester, NY, where our daughter and son-in-law, Darla and Steve Edlin pastor.  In the past I was introduced as “This is our Pastor David’s wife.” Now it’s “This is Pastor Darla’s mother.”  Sometimes it’s an honor and sometimes I wish simply to be known by my name- Elsa. I learned to spell it as a child when everyone called me Elsie. It irritated me then that people got it wrong. Yet it’s in those times I remember: My name is written in God’s Book of Life. He knows my name and all that it holds. He also knows my whole journey and where I’m at now. 
So with the feelings of loss in our ministry role, how can we manage the transitions toward retirement?
Use the talents/giftings the Lord has given you - For the past 14 years, my husband, David, and I have traveled a new journey.
  • David is passionate about the message of Bible prophecy being fulfilled in the present time.  I, as the title of ‘pastors’ wife’ am now the traveling companion, helping with the sale of our books and giving a personal testimony in churches.
  • We both lead a small group at church.
  • I love quilting and teaching hand piecing and hand quilting in my small group of sixteen women of all ages.
So, in retirement, continue to use those talents the Lord gave you. They will look differently than the church setting, yet this new season brings new opportunities.
  •  Continue to get out there.
  • We may not have money for a lot of traveling, but we can do small trips locally. 
  • Read, write, exercise, take walks
  • Be involved in your church seniors’ gatherings
  • Connect with your community.
  • Don’t just sit and remember all the old days or go over the hurts and blessings but instead get up and move.
 
Leave a legacy - I admonish women to be busy blessing others. I give a neighbor family pasta sauce when I make it once a month. Find creative ways to share God’s love. The world still needs a Savior, and YOU may be the one to share that word of encouragement or act of love with them in their day.
  • Bake a cake for a neighbor or someone in need.
  • Call someone and give them an encouraging word.
  • Pray with them.
  • Visit someone in a nursing home or hospital
  • Smile and share a kind word with a waitress/clerk and tell them you appreciate their service.
  • Invite someone over for dinner or meet them for lunch
 
Be an intercessor – During our busy days of practical ministry needs being met, we didn’t always have time for deep intercession. This is a great time in our lives to be intercessors. We have time to pray and encourage those in need. 

Enjoy the people around you – In retirement, you are all of a sudden 24 hours a day with your husband.  We’ve been married 59 years. I am Swedish/English and my husband is 98% Italian.  How do we exist?  We have learned when to debate and when to just be quiet. We make time for each other.  
 
Now in our twilight years, David and I enjoy each other, our children, our grandchildren, and a great grandson. Every night when my husband and I get into bed, we hold hands, pray together, share a good night kiss and say, “I love you.”  Little things mean a lot. 
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It’s been a journey and now in this season of my life I still want to be used of God.  I will be 85 years old in May 2022 and I have more to give. Maybe the old bones won’t let us walk the malls, or ski, or even walk for a mile.  But we can pray, encourage others, bless others, and continue to grow in our giftings. We can still let our light shine as Christ shines through us.  
Don’t be the old person that is grumpy and complains about the food, about the new songs in church, or about how the young people dress.  Remember all that God has brought you through and the lessons you learned. 
  • Be the light in someone’s dark world.
  • Put that smile on your face and bless someone with a kind word. 
 Getting old is a privilege. A reminder that God is not through with us. We have trusted Him through our ministry journey, and we continue to trust Him through our retirement years.
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