​God made us out of relationship for relationship. In our search for wholeness, we can’t live whole alone. Relationships are essential for wholeness. In the beginning, Adam had a relationship with God and Adam had purpose. Yet God said that’s not enough. Adam needed another to journey with him.
We need others in our lives.  We were created to need others in our lives and for healthy relationship. We are needy individuals, and sometimes we don’t like to admit that simple truth.

ingredients. I’d be out of sugar, or vanilla, or one egg short.  Mom would say, Run next door to Mrs. Rodger’s house and ask to borrow what you need.  When I was all done baking, Mom would again say, "Take some cookies over to Mrs. Rodgers and share with her since she shared with you."  With my cookies on a pretty plate, I would head over to Mrs. Rodgers. This was part of the process and a true gift of relationship.  I loved baking, and Mrs. Rodgers enjoyed the company of the little girl next door.​

Nowadays, if we bake and find ourselves short an egg, sugar, or flour, we don’t typically go next door but instead we Instacart, run to the store, or text someone to stop by the store on their way home.  We’ve lost that interdependent community of needing and connecting with those near us --- our community.
God created us for relationships but in today’s world we find ourselves alone and not connected in healthy, life-giving community circles and friendships. 

Author Jennie Allen shares some great ideas and insights in building community in her book, Find Your People.  Below are some ideas she shares:
       Proximity – Who is around you?

•   Who do I connect with for support and healthy relationships? Hebrews 10:24-25 reminds us, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together.”
• How can I create a gathering place to connect with others? (front porch, back deck, park bench, coffee shop)
• What is the barrier keeping me from connection? (busyness, past hurt) 

 
Transparency – Have an open door 
Everyone doesn’t need to know our business and we don’t need to share everything however we can practice healthy levels of transparency and live in authentic relationship with others.

•  To obtain deep relationships we risk experiencing pain. Yet connections and healthy relationships provide support and help us through life and ministry.
• A barrier to transparency is often pain or shame.  Adam and Eve experienced shame and pain. They chose to hide yet God's desire is right relationship with Him and with others.

 

       Accountability – Iron Sharpens Iron

• Who have you given permission to speak into your life?    When teaching on mentorship, Beth Grant shares the story of The Circle Around Me. It’s like a clock face with myself standing in the center. At numbers 11 and 1 are two people ahead of me on the life journey. I can learn from them. At numbers 9 and 3 are two walking beside me in the same season of life and ministry. At 7 and 5 are two younger in life or ministry experience. I can connect and learn from them and I can pour into them as well. ¨ Who is in your circle around you?
• Barrier to accountability can be pride – Tim Keller shares, “Our sin is worse than we imagine. AND the grace of God is bigger and better than we can imagine.” Allowing ourselves to be accountable to others can sharpen our skills along with bringing clarity and focus to our lives.

 

Shared Purpose—Connecting together creates bonds

•  Inviting others to do life with us increases productivity, joy, and community. These are opportunities to become deeper disciples of Jesus together.
• Barriers to this can be keeping connections at a surface level with small talk and shallow conversations.  Give yourself the gift of connecting with others on a deeper level.

 

Consistency– Choose to stay when days are difficult

• Every relationship encounters conflict. Learn to have healthy conflicts.

              Assume the best.
              Keep short accounts.
              Be quick to apologize.
              Aim to be a peacemaker.

• Manage relationships well – Some relationships are unhealthy and need evaluation. Our culture tells us, If things are inconvenient or difficult, it’s okay to leave and find something else --- you deserve to be happy. Yet sometimes God leads us through the hurt to bring us to health.  We can sometimes self-protect, blame, pull back or even walk away. Yet at other times, God calls us to fight for the relationship and grow through it.  Some questions to consider:

1. What can we remedy?
   
2. If not redeemable, how can we manage regret?
   
3. What do I need to release?

 
Consistency is clocking hours together over years. Those kinds of relationships and communities bring great rewards. Those relationships, though difficult at times, produce life giving, life journeying friends and community. 

​This perfect mindset can mess us up. We’re often hindered by believing we must be perfect or at least portray perfection. Yet Paul writes in Romans 3:23 “All have sinned and fallen short.” We all miss the mark. So, if God knows we are not perfect and in our human state we are not able to obtain perfection what does Jesus mean when He says, “Be perfect.”
The translation of the word perfect is similar to other translated words where we don’t quite have an adequate English word to represent what the Greek word means. It’s like the word love.  We love our families and we love cheeseburgers yet those love definitions are not equally weighted.

In our English language we understand perfect as a performance-based target where we aim, shoot, and hit the bullseye every time. Yet the word perfect (Greek translation = Teleios) in this verse means completion, wholeness, maturity.
The call to perfection (teleios) in this verse is the same call to holiness we see throughout the Old and New Testament. It’s not calling us to moral perfection but instead wholehearted orientation toward God. Teleios is an intentional, purposeful wholeness of a person.
Instead of looking at perfection as unattainable, a better reframing of perfection in this context would be wholeness, completeness, whole living, flourishing growth.

Whole health is caring for ourselves well. God cares about our whole being. He is Spirit, yet He became flesh to dwell among us (John 1:14). Jesus, who is fully God and fully man, took on the vulnerability and beauty of being human. He enjoyed eating meals and napped when He was tired. He wept with His close friends and He stood up to injustice.
God’s work of redemption includes the restoration of our body, mind, and soul. He cares for our whole being. (spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally, relationally) Wholeness in these areas brings a sense of balance and wholeness in our living.
Many of us struggle in balancing these areas. We find when we are lacking in one area, it impacts other areas of living.  For example, when physically tired, our emotions are edgy and mental capacities can wane. These areas impact each other.
Keeping balance in our schedules, staying rested, making healthy decisions, and other disciplines will help tremendously. But what else can keep us from flourishing in our lives?
One is our thoughts and patterns. Proverbs 23:7 says, As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Our thoughts circle around to our actions or inactions and those decisions give us the results of our life. Our thoughts become things. Our thoughts create feelings, and our feelings can drive our actions or inactions. For example, 

• My thoughts can be “I’m the only one working here.  If I don’t do this, it won’t get done. Nobody is willing to help me here.” 
  
• My feelings play out as annoyance, frustration, and anger. 
  
• My actions equal snapping at people around me, stuffing my feelings and we end up spinning in overwhelm, worry, and frustration. 

How can we change our thought patterns?
1. Recognize our faulty thinking - We can self-sabotage our own growth by letting our thoughts and fears of failure do us in before anyone else has a chance to.
2. Be kinder to ourselves and others in our thought life –
Changing our thought practices will help us see and notice our thought patterns. Reigning in our thoughts and making them obedient to Christ changes things at the root level.
~ Philippians 4:8, Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable… if anything is excellent or praiseworthy… think on these things.
~ Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is --- His good, pleasing, and perfect will.
~ 2 Corinthians 10:5 We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
3. Tune in, Listen, and Obey the Holy Spirit’s leading. – We achieve a greater sense of wholeness in our lives when we lean into God’s idea of wholeness. This leads to flourishing growth and goodness in our lives.

The pressure for posting perfection is exhausting and yields fleeting results. But living in the fullness of whole living, completeness, and moving towards maturity brings a flourishing that yields joy, satisfaction, purpose, and glory to the Father who brings good to our lives.  And that is worth posting about!