We see it in the story of Joseph in the Bible.

•  God placed a dream in Him for great leadership, yet many times he found himself in dark places because of the evil done to him by others. This did not prohibit the dream God placed in him from coming to pass. The same will happen for you.
• Do not abandon your dream because of uncomfortable detours in your journey – you are only passing through that dark place.

 Walking in love takes extra effort. We can all agree it can be challenging to love the unlovely, especially those who are intent on hurting us. We need faith to surrender our hurts to the Lord and pray for the offenders. It is so painful to watch the avoidable trouble people create for themselves when they try to hurt God’s people. Our response is to ask for God’s mercy for them. Jesus said it best on the cross when He uttered, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they do.”
I will not make light of the pain people go through. Indeed, God knows every pain we feel. He does not turn a blind eye when we go through hurts and are treated unfairly. Hebrews 4:15 explains how He feels and understands our pain.
 
We read in Acts 9, where light from heaven struck down Saul on the road to Damascus. He was on his way to harm God’s people. God accosted Him with a piercing question, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting ME?” It is important to note He didn’t say, why are you persecuting my children – He made it clear He (GOD) was the One being hurt. This shows how He is in touch with our suffering. He will take care of the situation. In Saul’s case, he was converted from his life of wrongdoing to becoming the Apostle Paul, author of many books in the New Testament. God came down, handled the situation and evil was transformed for good.

We get to see the supernatural at work when we are faithful in being the hands, feet, or voice of Jesus in our line of work. God will not call us to do His work, then abandon us when the pressure hits. He fights for us all the way – in our personal lives, professional lives, and in ministry.
 
The love of God in our lives is threatened when we hold onto offenses, and the adversary knows those areas of vulnerability. That is why we need to stay vigilant against hoarding hurts that can lead to bitterness. We are particularly warned of this danger in Hebrews 12:15. Bitterness grows into a stubborn tree that can destroy us and others; blocking our blessing. Blatant offenses are possibly easier to recognize and address, but we have to be attentive to the subtle ones and submit those to the Lord.
 
I remember my own subtle offense. At the time, I disliked people pointing out that I had no children. Although, in their defense, most of them were probably unaware of the struggles I faced, it was still hurtful. I particularly remember an incident when a church usher greeted me one Mother’s Day. “Sorry Sis, these corsages are only for mothers, not wives without children.” It was a straightforward statement, yet another hit in a vulnerable spot for me. We had been married for over six years and still no children only pangs of miscarriage, and the enemy was trying to capitalize on my vulnerability. Whether this woman intended to offend me or not, was not the issue. Whether it is deemed petty or not, was not the issue. Everyone’s journey is different. However, we cannot continue to make that an excuse to remain stuck in defeat, wallow in distress, and further damage relationships.
 
The real issue is holding ourselves accountable for our actions. We cannot control the behavior of others or blame others for our reactions. The responsibility is ours to own. Romans 14:12 says “each of us shall give an account of himself to God.” (NKJV)
Therefore, our primary focus has to be inward. If we make self-reflection and self-improvement a priority, there would certainly be less conflict. The enemy enjoys us being over-occupied with the wrongdoings of others because it gives us less time to develop ourselves; it depresses us, stagnates us, and destroys our connections.
 
Our movement of faith requires us to be intentional in rising above our doubts and hurts. We need to surrender it all to God, knowing whatever valley is destined for our journey God will give us the grace to go through it, as He did for Job. We also, should not be comfortable in situations where He only intends for us to pass through. We need to recognize when that season is over, let it go, and allow God’s love, forgiveness, and plan prevail.
It is true some hurts take longer to overcome, yet God is faithful to bring purpose out of our pain if we dare to believe and relinquish it to Him.

Healing often follows our surrender to His plan. I have seen this happen many times in my life. My response to that usher’s comment was to refocus and press through in worship and praise to God and enjoy the church service. That decision led to a remarkable encounter with the Lord. A breakthrough happened that day because approximately NINE MONTHS after that incident, I was holding my miracle – my firstborn son, – the very thing experts said would not happen. (I share more of this story in our book: Empowered to Overcome Tough Seasons of Life.
When we hold onto a resilient faith in God, we will see Him do amazing things in and through our lives.

In a time of instant messaging, Instagram, and instant food from our microwaves we can begin to lose hope when prayers aren’t answered instantly.
Our friend and missionary colleague, Crystal Lodica, shares with us her story of holding onto the hope of God’s timing and faithfulness even when prayers and answers seem faraway.
Thank you, Crystal, for sharing with us. 

When I was 8 years old my mother and father were given two options to save my life. They had to decide quickly.
I was diagnosed with Graves’ disease. This is an immune system disorder that results in the overproduction of thyroid hormones. These hormones are vital for overall health and body function but if these hormones are overproduced and left untreated, it can lead to death. With this diagnosis, my parents were faced with two options.
Option 1- Risky invasive surgery that could leave me unable to speak again.
Option 2- Radioactive iodine treatment that would destroy the thyroid, leaving me on hormone replacement therapy for the rest of my life.
After a brief 24-hours of pondering the right move, they decided the radioactive treatment was the best option. Knowing I loved to sing and being a talkative kid with a lot to say; they couldn't risk the chance of losing my voice forever.
As a young child, I didn't understand the long-term effects of undergoing radioactive treatment.
Fast forward to present-day, I am a 33-year-old woman who has recently received the news that my body has already gone through the stages of menopause, and I have Premature Ovarian Insufficiency (POI). To my surprise, a decision saving my life 25-years ago now impacts me today. 
​No one warned my parents that the radioactive treatment saving my life would cause reproduction damage and leave me with the inability to have biological children. I was devasted. I felt my worth as a woman was gone. My dreams of becoming a mother and carrying my own children were gone.

I knew God had a plan --- He always does. In the moment we may not see it, yet we must continue to believe in faith. I knew I had to surrender and release my life into His hands, He had bigger plans for my life. It all started to make sense when He called me to be His servant and missionary. He called and I answered. 
I left my corporate job in Manhattan, moved out of my cozy Brooklyn apartment, broke off my 5-year relationship and started on a new journey. This new journey wasn’t easy, I found myself living at home again with my parents, in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania. I knew I was there for a reason and had to make the best of it.
I also knew I needed a way to make money and support myself. The Lord prompted me to create a profile on a popular nannying site. The flexibility of a being nanny while raising funds for missions was the right balance. That simple act of obedience led me to work with a family for three years. In the summer of 2018, the family welcomed a new fiery red haired baby girl into the world. Little did I know God was going to work through this little one to touch my life.
As I started caring for this young one, my health issues took a turn for the worse. The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong hormonally, and my hypothyroid symptoms became unbearable. It became difficult to do daily activities such as getting out of bed and everyday living. Though I was weak, and my body was working against me, God was still working. 
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​The baby I was caring for needed a medical procedure. This required a lot of monitoring during recovery to protect her from infection. She laid on my chest for hours. I listened to her heartbeat while she slept. I prayed and held her as if she were my own. Over time I watched this once fragile child quickly become this fearless little human. Her strength was restored, and the light inside her turned on. As I prayed and watched her get better, God was also healing me and showing me how hope exists even in tough situations and how to trust in Him.

Through my time with this precious child and my journey to the mission field I’ve learned to trust God. I’ve been to many countries sharing the word of God. It hasn’t been an easy journey but He has been faithful.
For the last 8 months, I have been in Costa Rica attending language school. I have been working with doctors to find answers to the decline in my health. Fallen hair from my head has covered the bathroom floor, autoimmune flareups have pulsed through my body, and my physical strength again has become limited. I went from running seven miles a day to using what little energy I could muster to sit in class. It became a struggle to learn a new language as brain fog weighed down my concentration. Many nights went by as I begged the Lord to reveal an answer. In desperation, I cried out for His healing touch. It was exhausting, and depression slowly took over. The fear of losing mobility and the life I enjoyed became a heavy burden. My hope was slipping away. 
After my most recent doctor’s consultation and news of being post-menopausal and unable to have children, I needed some hope.

​How am I feeling now? Well, I’m both grieving and holding onto hope. God makes room for my human emotion, and I know His goodness goes past it. The Lord has proven before that when He gives a promise, it will come to pass. His promise says my healing is on its way. 
God has shown his faithfulness repeatedly. I am incredibly grateful for the community the Lord has placed in my life for this season. People who were with me at the hospital, friends who covered me in prayer and offered to help in any way they could. There’s reassurance in knowing I am not alone. Not only does Jesus continue to be my hope while living with an autoimmune disease, He is also the One who has graced me with contentment in the unknown. The future may look completely different than I have imagined, but the testimony coming from these times will be for His glory.

The words of our sovereign, faithful Lord never fall void when He gives a promise. As these days pass, Jesus walks with me through grief, and encourages me to hold unto Him.
Be encouraged that the enemy will try to steal the vision you once saw for a future, but that doesn't influence what GOD has and is creating for your purpose. Whatever you saw as lost can be replaced by hope. So, hold on to it, sister! 

How do we retire from serving the Lord who has called us into ministry? 
After 45 years pastoring churches in New England and New York state, we shut the church door and drove away. 
 It is easy to feel forgotten when we retire.
 
The hard part is NOT being the pastor’s wife, not having the fellowship, not involved in the women’s ministries, the day-to-day operations of the church, or having friends in the church, OUR church.
 
We now attend Faith Church, in Rochester, NY, where our daughter and son-in-law, Darla and Steve Edlin pastor.  In the past I was introduced as “This is our Pastor David’s wife.” Now it’s “This is Pastor Darla’s mother.”  Sometimes it’s an honor and sometimes I wish simply to be known by my name- Elsa. I learned to spell it as a child when everyone called me Elsie. It irritated me then that people got it wrong. Yet it’s in those times I remember: My name is written in God’s Book of Life. He knows my name and all that it holds. He also knows my whole journey and where I’m at now. 

So with the feelings of loss in our ministry role, how can we manage the transitions toward retirement?
Use the talents/giftings the Lord has given you - For the past 14 years, my husband, David, and I have traveled a new journey.

• David is passionate about the message of Bible prophecy being fulfilled in the present time.  I, as the title of ‘pastors’ wife’ am now the traveling companion, helping with the sale of our books and giving a personal testimony in churches.
• We both lead a small group at church.
• I love quilting and teaching hand piecing and hand quilting in my small group of sixteen women of all ages.

So, in retirement, continue to use those talents the Lord gave you. They will look differently than the church setting, yet this new season brings new opportunities.

•  Continue to get out there.
• We may not have money for a lot of traveling, but we can do small trips locally. 
• Read, write, exercise, take walks
• Be involved in your church seniors’ gatherings
• Connect with your community.
• Don’t just sit and remember all the old days or go over the hurts and blessings but instead get up and move.

 
Leave a legacy - I admonish women to be busy blessing others. I give a neighbor family pasta sauce when I make it once a month. Find creative ways to share God’s love. The world still needs a Savior, and YOU may be the one to share that word of encouragement or act of love with them in their day.

• Bake a cake for a neighbor or someone in need.
• Call someone and give them an encouraging word.
• Pray with them.
• Visit someone in a nursing home or hospital
• Smile and share a kind word with a waitress/clerk and tell them you appreciate their service.
• Invite someone over for dinner or meet them for lunch

 
Be an intercessor – During our busy days of practical ministry needs being met, we didn’t always have time for deep intercession. This is a great time in our lives to be intercessors. We have time to pray and encourage those in need. 

“Before you go, will you hold my hands while we pray?”

I had spent the previous hour at a home visit with a sweet elderly lady now housebound by lack of mobility and outside support. We’d spoken of many personal things, shed some tears and shared some laughter, but I had maintained social distance out of respect for this unique season in which we are all ministering. Now I moved to the side of her armchair and gently cradled both of her frail, misshapen hands in mine. We prayed as one, bringing added strength to our prayers as well as added comfort to her spirit. We’d connected in our conversation, but it was the simple act of touch that connected us as no words could ever do.

I serve as a chaplain and director of a ministry that reaches out to a sometimes-overlooked segment of our faith family, those who are housebound through mobility, medical or support issues. Some are in their homes, or the home of a loved one; some are in assisted living settings or nursing homes.
Wherever they call home, I meet with them there and provide resources, spiritual encouragement, intercessory prayer, and even communion --- elements of the Christian life they are no longer able to access through their home churches.  I rarely preach and seldom minister to more than a handful of people at once, but my mission is the same as a lead pastor or missionary or evangelist: to connect a soul with the Savior who longs to meet their need.

Chaplaincy is often referred to as “the ministry of presence” and from the first time I heard that phrase I pictured simply sitting side-by-side with the person in need, close enough to hear even a whispered plea, to be a supportive shoulder to cry on or an arm supporting like a comforting blanket of warmth and protection from the trauma they have experienced. It’s from that unique ministry position I have learned how our attempts to connect with hurting souls, regardless of our ministry title or position, need to be rooted in three areas. 

Next, we need to be rooted and grounded in respect for the person in front of me. It can be so easy to let feelings of impatience, superiority, even disgust or horror creep into our mind and soul as someone pours out the darkness of their life, but we need to be constantly aware that God loves them just as much as He loves us, and the only thing we might have that they don’t is a relationship with the Savior.
I minister in my county jail and hear over and over from inmates how thankful they are that I treat them like human beings. That respect is conveyed through eye contact, respectful listening, and through my attentiveness to them. Ask God to show you the person as He sees them! 

Honest, courageous empathy builds bridges and allows individuals to face their truths with a little more courage.
The dear elderly lady that wanted to hold hands in prayer had just finished telling me one of her greatest sorrows in life was a stillborn baby son. One of her greatest fears now as she contemplated Heaven, was that she would not recognize that child or meet him when she arrives there. It was not the time to remind her how long ago it had happened. It was not the time to retreat behind a doctrinal discourse on the souls of newborns. It was time to hold her hands and pray with her. Pray that her dear baby son would be waiting at heaven’s gates for the hug they were not able to share on earth. It was time to be honest about her fear and sadness and about the hope Heaven holds as she gets close to the end of her earthly time.
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True connection will take you places in another person’s life you could not have predicted and certainly would not have asked to enter. You will share pain and fear you might not have ever imagined. You will practice honesty when a little skirting of hard truths would be easier. You will hold a hand that might be dirty, smelly, and unpleasant to all your senses.
​Connecting will bring you unexpected relationships, priceless insights, and opportunities to experience the power and comfort of the Holy Spirit in new and deeper ways even as you see Him at work in others. Connect with your senses, respect and honesty --- and you will watch your relationships and your ministry become richer and deeper as the Holy Spirit multiplies your passion to connect.