Honoring Your Capacity

Written by Rachel Quigley
​

Dave and I were gifted a dinner date at Texas de Brazil. This is an elaborate smorgasbord meat buffet that comes right to your table. Their meats are fabulous and thinking back on that meal makes my mouth water.  It’s on the expensive side so friends told us, “Go hungry and get your money's worth!”
Our hostess explained how the meal would go. Our side dishes would be brought to our table and served family style. We could enjoy endless salad bar trips, and the green/red card on our table would let the meat buffet servers know when we wanted more or were ready for a rest.
While enjoying our sides and salads, we indulged in a parade of varying meats carved and served to us at our table. The green side of our card sat there letting the servers know we were open to them bringing us more meat.  When we were full we had the option of turning our card to show red - stop bringing us food!
Dave and I love a good meal. There’s something about savoring the flavors and tenderness of the various meats. There was filet mignon wrapped in bacon, parmesan-crusted pork loin, garlic picanha, and so many other delectable cuts of meat. It was amazing and we were glad we had gone hungry so we could fill up on all the goodness.
But then something started happening. What was just moments before savory and delicious was now not sitting well in my gullet. I was stuffed and overextended. The variety began to fade and all the tastes blended together in a mixture of sameness. I began regretting all that commitment.
I indicated to the servers I was done by turning my card to 'red' but they kept coming. I began feeling guilty for the unfinished meat on my plate. I was way beyond my capacity. I was no longer savoring but instead regretting my choices and just wanted to leave.
Sometimes in life we find ourselves in similar scenarios.
We commit to areas of ministry thinking it’s good and amazing.  We enjoy the richness of serving and meeting the needs of others. But then our schedules are stuffed and we’re overextended.  And even though we hold up the ‘red’ stop cards, people and tasks don’t seem to recognize our fullness.
When we are stuffed beyond capacity, our tells show.

•  We become weary and worn down.
• Ministry feels full of obligations instead of passion.
• We become agitated with ourselves and others.
• Our schedules bring anxiety.
• Our energy levels run empty with no reserves.

 
Margin is the fuel reserve for our lives. When we have no margin our engines seize up and we’re left on the side of the road. 

To honor our capacity, how can we create margin in our lives?
Recognize we are responsible for creating the boundaries in our lives. We set the parameters. This requires strategy and intentionality.

• Identify what you need in this season – strategize and plan for the changes needed.
• Ask the question: What can I do now with what I have? Don’t despise the days of small beginnings. (Zechariah 4:10) We can take the next right step even if we don’t see the finish line. Many times we like the security of a complete plan but God often calls us to take the next right step in faith, even if it is small. Start with what you have. Don’t let your small beginnings keep you from moving forward.
• Communicate and manage expectations - Often we try and manage change on our own. Communicating expectations and plans with those directly involved helps manage schedules, responsibilities, and accountability. The greater the gap between our expectations and our realities the greater our frustration becomes.  Managing our expectations and goals with others reduces the gap between our expectations and our realities which in turn reduces our frustration.
• Plan a schedule with flexibility – Our dearly loved ministry friend, Eleanor Grossglass, illustrated this truth years ago with a rubber band. While stretching and flexing a rubber band stretched between her right and left index fingers, she showed how we can withstand some stretching and expanding when we are flexible. But when the rubber band is stretched tight with no more to give, it can easily break and snap. I am learning if I’m already stretched tight, with no margin or flexibility available then snapping is inevitable. This can cause damage to myself and others.  Living a life with margin allows for a schedule with flexibility.
• Practice balanced decision-making – When making decisions - We need to practice H.A.L.T. –being careful of how we make decisions when we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.  These factors can influence our decisions. Taking inventory of our own state of mind can help us make better decisions.
• Build space for margin in your schedule--
  • Daily - A daily breather - Take moments throughout the day to stretch, get outside, breathe slowly even if it's 10 minutes a day.
  • Weekly – Sabbath – While living the ministry life, Sunday is NOT our day of rest. Committing to a day a week for restorative rest will do much for our health and well-being.
  • Monthly – Take a day away – Getting away from our ministry locations for a change of scenery is refreshing. Even a few hours can bring rejuvenation.
  • Quarterly – A 3 day/2 night get away. Options for free or discounted lodging for ministry individuals are available. (email: [email protected] for ideas.) Another creative idea is house swapping with another ministry couple for two nights.
  • Yearly – Vacation/retreat (ideally with two Sundays off in a row) – This takes planning and intentionality but it’s not impossible. This will do wonders for recharging, resting, and creating margin.

Our lives can be full of obligations and ministry commitments but setting manageable expectations and honoring our capacity levels can bring a fullness to our lives and satisfaction to our hearts without overburdening us.

God created us for whole living. His desire is that we live abundant lives – not through over stuffing, overextending, or over committing but through:

• evaluating our lives
• making wise, biblically principled life steps
• journeying with others
• and honoring our capacity

 
In these areas of Living in Wholeness, Life Giving Relationships, and Honoring our Capacity, we can flourish and live richer lives by applying these principles to our lives. 

Jump into the conversation:

• In what areas of life do you sometimes feel beyond your capacities? 
• How do you create margin in your life, ministry, relationships, schedule?
• In what areas have you found success?